©John Gifford
  It should be pointed out that throughout this piece whenever there has been any conflict between truth and merriment... truth loses.
Other errors of exactitude are doubtless due to the abysmal ignorance of the author or in some cases to the fact that to utter the truth might well lead to the hasty issuing of writs by many of the protagonists. Do not let my ignorance trouble you. The ignorance of those who composed the subject matter of this sorry little tale never bothered them, though I suspect some of us may well live to regret it. As a further safeguard against legal difficulties of an unaffordable nature I would be most grateful if the audience would chant the word "allegedly" at the end of each stanza.

I'll tell thee of treaty of Maastricht,
As were signed 'cos Jaques Delors said "Do it."
By a right bunch of wazzocks who never once thought,
It would first bugger Europe then screw it.

T'was conceived to bring people together,
"One Nation" and stuff of that class,
But whoever thought us and the frogs could be mates,
Has been smoking some very good grass.

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