EDWARD AND THE LIONESS
Anon (possibly John Rudd but not confirmed)
In t' houses of Parliament at London
There's lately been rather a do
That ended with loss of a Kingdom
And folks losin' King Edward too.
It started wi' yon Mrs. Simpson
A yankee lass, twice before wed,
She came t' live up in London
And then set her 'eart on King Ted.
Now King was reet fond o' nice lasses
And Wallis soon collared his eye...
One night when they met at a night club,
Were Edward was drinkin on t' sly.
Well t' King were fairly bowled over
And said she were nicest he'd seen
"And if I can get rid of your husband
Dang me if I don't make you Queen."
"Ok baby!" says Mrs. Simpson
And applied right away for divorce
Said her husband, "Aye, Ted, you're reet welcome,
I'd as soon 'ave a dog or an 'orse."
Now t' King knew there'd be spot o' bother
When he said that he wanted to wed
So he sent for their Albert, his brother,
To see if he'd reign in his stead.
Well Albert were capped when he 'eard it
He thought that he'd never be King
So he said, "Me an Liz'll think it over..."
An tomorrow I'll give thee a ring."
Well, King sent for owld Stanley Baldwin
To go round at once without fail
An he told him about Mrs. Simpson
Said Stan, "Well I'm blast, what a tale!
"Tha could almost fell me wi' a feather
Nay Teddy thah should 'ave more sense
For t' country will play 'ell for leather,
Tha crown won't be worth eighteen pence!"
But Edward said he'd made his mind up
And he'd wed Mrs. Simpson come what
"And if thee an thah pals don't like it
I'll give up me throne on the spot!"
Said Stanley, "I'll go'n see thy mother,
I'm sure she'd sooner see thee dead
As wed to the wife of another
Not fit to be t' Queen of King Ted.
But talk as he would, it didn't matter
King wouldn't hear reason at all
So wi'out any further chatter
He fetched up his cards from Whitehall.
The King sent along for is' brother
To go up to Fort Belvedere
His sister t' Princess an is' mother
T'were a right family gathering theer'.
Just after they'd finished their supper,
(A fish an a pennath all round),
King then signed his abdication
T'were the end of King Teddy uncrowned.
T'owd Queen right upset said "Nay Teddy,
I 'ope tha's not made a mistake!"
But King only laughed and got ready
His trip to Vienna to make.
He took off his crown an' his jewels,
An' shoved em on their Alberts 'ead,
Saying God save't King an God Bless 'im,
An that were the end of King Ted.
And finally he turned round to Baldwin
An' said, "To show I've still got guts",
You can keep crown an sceptre... and castle an' all
And shove 'em where monkey shoved nuts.