Top
 

 
Home Shop Portraits  
 

 
 

THE GYPSY DANCER
by
Benny Hill


Benny Hill

Now Maria was a high class gypsy, she sold gold earrings from a stool.
Her mother had a cut-glass eye, her father had a crystal ball.
I took Maria to a fancy dress dance it was a very swell affair.
All the girls had to wear a dress the same color as their escort's hair.
There was a commotion on the ballroom of the palace.
All the men wanted to dance with the girl who came with Telly Savalas.

Hey! Hi digga dum dum!
Digga digga dum dum!
Hi digga dum dum!
Digga digga dum!
Hi digga dum dum!
Digga dum dum dum!
Hi digga dum dum!
Digga digga dum!

Please don't blame my doggie, it's not his fault at all.
Someone left a wet umbrella standing in the hall!
Bend down, girls and touch your toes!
I'm gonna show you where the wild goose goes!
Some girls are like Africa, mysterious and hot!
Other girls are like Paris, with all the charm it's got!
Maria... she is like Tibet with all its ice and snow there.
'Cause everyone knows where it is but no one wants to go there!"

Hill's Angels: "Dance by diddly doh!
Dance by diddly doh!
Dance by diddly doh!
Dance by diddly doh!"

I must admit she was the strangest woman that I've ever seen!
One of her eyes was bright magenta, but the other two were green!
I went into a phone box to try and get in touch
With my lovely Maria 'cause I love her so much!
A policeman came and turned me out, I still can hear him yell.
He went back into the phone box and turned her out as well!"

Hill's Angels: "Dance by diddly doh!
Dance by diddly doh!
Dance by diddly doh!
Dance by diddly doh!"

I twirled her around the dance floor, she said, "I hate the way you're doin' it.
I said, "Why?", she said, "I've got a wooden leg and you're unscrewin' it!"
Standing on a crosstown bus hanging by a strap
She let her hankie fall into a sleeping old man's lap.
He woke up, he looked down, he gave a sheepish grin.
He thought it was his shirt tail and he slyly tucked it in."

Hill's Angels: "Dance by diddly doh!
Dance by diddly doh!
Dance by diddly doh!
Dance by diddly doh!"

I saw her in her birthday suit swimming by the pier.
She said, "Please go away!" but I pretended not to hear.
She said, "If you don't go, I'll stay in here until it gets dark."
I said, "That's okay by me I only came to feed the shark."

Hill's Angels: "Dance by diddly doh!
Dance by diddly doh!
Dance by diddly doh!
Dance by diddly doh!"

We had a gypsy wedding but the caterers were hucksters.
They blew up all the prawns and shrimps to make them look like lobsters!
So she stuffed herself with wedding cake and beer and fish and chips.
I carried her across the threshold I had to make two trips.
But, alas, that wicked gypsy girl, she's ruined my poor life.
She's gone back to her mother and now I'm going back to the wife!


 
Divider
 
Back to Menu
 
Home Shop Portraits  
Top
 
space
COMIC SONGS
 
 
HOME - OLD FAVOURITES
MORE OLD FAVOURITES
TRADITION CONTINUES
FIRST LADIES OF COMEDY
TALL STORIES
DRAMATIC PIECES
THE MILITARY
SEAFARIN' YARNS
RAILWAY TALES
SPORT
CHILDHOOD FAVOURITES
PARODIES
ADVERTISING
ANONYMOUS VERSE
ALMOST SHAKESPEARE
MORE ALBERT
SKETCHES & STORIES
LIMERICKS
COMIC SONGS
VISITOR'S SUBMISSIONS
 
 
MESSAGE BOARD
On-site shopping
ON-SITE SHOPPING
 
laugh
Bottom