THEOPOLIS CARNATION
by
Cyril Fletcher

My friend Theopolis Carnation
Would talk about his operation
And gaze upon with such delight
The scar of his appendicite.
The surgeon had so neatly put
A row of stitches sewn with gut
That Theopolis with half a whirl
Loved every stitch, both plain and purl.
One day as he sat in his tub
He gave his favourite spot a rub
To his surprised delight he found
The catgut made a crysler sound.
And so next day he bought a bow
And started playing sweet and low
And in a week could play the air
Of 'Deep Purple' and 'The Maidens Prayer'.
The BBC soon got to hear
And called for Theo to appear
And said that he and his incision
Must both appear on television.
He learned the new swing music gait
He'd drop a stitch to syncopate
With his danceband became the new sensation
'Theopolis and his Operation.'
Theopolis got quite wealthy soon
Each stitch in time could play its tune
Although he grew a trifle gummy
Through rubbing rosin on his tummy.