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Monologues
 

JUST A SITTER-IN
by
Margaret Muirhead and David Jenkins 1950
Performed by Suzette Tarri

I'm not a shorthand typist—I was never one for speed—
Or a snappy shop-assistant—askin, "Wot does modom need?"
I fancied bein' a "clippie." but my chances were thin,
I missed the bus—and now my job is Just a "Sitter-in!"

My dancin' days are over, an' those were the days, no doubt!
But I never seemed to get the chance to be a "Sitter-Out!"
The game of Love's a gamble—and I couldn't play to win . . .
So fate decreed that I should always be a "Sittin'-In."

When the baby's sleepin' peaceful, and 'is folk are at the "flicks."
I sit and do me jumper while the clock just ticks and ticks;
An' sometimes there's a tear or two rolls down a knittin' pin . . .
It's funny what you think of when you're just a "Sitter-in."

With me ears pinned back to listen for the slightest little cry,
Me fancies keep me busy and the moments seem to fly
They can keep their film stars wiv their shiny 'air an' sloppy grin
A bit of make-believe is free to Just a "Sitter-in!"

I kid myself 'es mine for keeps, that little chap in there,
I build 'im castles in the sand, and kingdoms in the air.
I give 'im lots of 'ints and tips for keepin' up 'is chin-
That's one thing that I'm expert at, tho' I'm just a "Sitter-in!"

Too soon my dreams are shattered, an' I know the time 'as come,
To say—"Ah, well, you've 'ad it— There's 'is daddy and 'is mum!"
But I feel me job's got something when 'is daddy, with a grin,
Says to me, "May 'Eaven bless you... for bein' just a sitter-i!"

 
 
 
PAM AYRES
They Should Have Asked My Husband
The Embarassing Experience With A Parrot
Oh! I Wish I'd Looked After My Teeth
Oh No!... I Got A Cold
Do I Have To Be Sexy At Sixy
The Wonderbra
Clive The Fearless Birdman
 
GRACIE FIELDS
Heaven Will Protect An Honest Girl
I Took My Harp To A Party
The Biggest Aspidistra In The World
She Fought Like A Tiger For Her Honour
Walter, Walter, Lead Me To The Altar
In My Little Bottom Drawer

Keeping Up With The Jones
Mrs Binns's Twins
 
JOYCE GRENFELL
Ethel
Three Brothers
Stately As A Galleon
Any Messages, Mrs. Bolster?
Nursery - Nativity Play
Nursery - Going Home Time
Nursery - Free Activity Period
Nursery - Flowers
Nursery - Sing Song Time
Nursery - Story Time
 
NELLIE WALLACE
Under The Bed
Let's Have A Tiddley