SUPPLANTED
by
Iris Potter and Cuthbert Clarke (1923)

We’ve got a nasty ickle baby come to live with us,
I fink it really isn’t fair the way they make a fuss
About a fing what’s got no sense and hardly any hair,
And isn’t half so pretty as my ickle Teddy Bear.
What is the use of baby? Well! I really cannot see,
But mummy finks it’s awful nice and loves it better’n me.
I’ve been so very lonely since that nasty baby came,
I’m sure that fings will never, never, never be the same.
Why! When it cries they always run to cuddle it and see
If anyfinks the matter, or perhaps it wants its tea!
They spoil it somefink awful and don’t care ‘bout me at all.
I’d like to frow dat baby right across our garden wall.
The uvver day I stuck a pin in baby’s arm to see
If sawdust twickled out of it, but baby squealed at me!
It never lets me play with it just like my dollies do,
And when it sleeps I have to be so quiet and sleeping too!
I’d like to punch that baby – if I only dare!
My nursie says that baby’s put my nose all out of joint!
It doesn’t feel no different, though it’s wobbly at the point,
But den my nose was always small and rather hard to blow,
I cannot see what baby’s done until it starts to grow.
And if it grows all crooked I’ll just tell you what I’ll do
I’ll pray to God for baby’s nose to grow all crooked too!