TH' ANGLER
by
Mike Dempsey

Now young Sam were a bit of an angler
It were said, of quite some renown
'Cos 'e once catched a salmon in th' Irwell
Although it weren 't pink... it were brown!

As a lad 'e were quite a scholar
Seemin' to stand out from the rest
But 'is consumin' passion were fishin'
And watchin' while t' birds built their nest

I 'eard as 'ow one day whilst fishin'
In t' lune or somewhere like that
'E were castin' a booby at t' fishes
When 'is 'ook caught in t' vicar's wife's 'at.

She were standin' on t' bridge when it 'appened
And 'er face turned from off-white to peach
And th' affair caused so-much commotion
As t' bobby were called into t' breach.

Now Sam 'ad a fair sense of humour
And 'e felt like 'is 'eart were on wings
As 'e 'eld back a chuckle and calm-like
'E said as 'ow it were 'just one o' them things'.

Well t' vicars wife Mabel were getting' fair vexed
At th 'ook still caught-up in 'er 'at
And she tugged and she pulled And she pulled and she tugged
Saying well-well, tut-tut, and that's that.

Then Mabel finally plucked-up 'er courage
And found 'er voice-like at last
Saying 'compensation 'as got to be paid'
But young Sam 'e just smiled and stood fast

Now t' bobby thought 'e were King Solomon
'Cos wisdom of 'is judgement were neat
'E said 'appen this lad'll gi' thee a salmon
And young Sam 'e said, 'aye… well alreet'

Well Sam when they'd gone were real pleased wi' 'imself
So pleased as 'e couldn't 'elp shout
Cos it weren't a salmon as 'ed give 'er...
It were no'but a common brown trout.