THE CARELESS SNEEZER
by
Cyril Fletcher
Ministry of Health (1942)



This is the tale of Ebeneezer,
Who was a very careless sneezer.
Well Eb. he caught a cold one day,
And nearly sneezed his bench away.
He sneezed at poor Penelope Goff,
Who nearly cut a rivet off.
He sneezed in Daniel Didcock's dial,
Which kept him in his bed awhile.
And all around, within a week,
Each workman had a crimson beak.

The manager, an egg-shaped bloke,
Came up and this is how he spoke.
"Now look here, Ebeneezer Morgan,
Don't neglect your nasal organ,
Because each time you sneeze and sniff,
And will not use your handkerchief,
You cause depletion of our ranks,
And slow production of the tanks."
"So then," he said, "whatever next?
The old man really seemed quite vexed."

It seems a small thing, I suppose,
To hold my hanky to my nose.
But now I see the harm I bring,
I'll always sneeze into the thing.
So if in bus or train or car,
In fact, no matter where you are.
The moral is that careless sneezes,
Delay production and spread diseases.

Remember: The British public is not to be sneezed at!