Home Shop Portraits  
 

 
../Pam_Ayres/Monologues
 

IT'S IN THE BOOK
by
Johnny Standley

I have a message for you - a very sad message!
My subject for this evening will be Little Bo Peep.
It says here, "Little Bo Peep, who was a little girl, has lost her sheep...
and doesn't know where to find them."
Now that's reasonable, isn't it?
It's reasonable to assume, if Little Bo Peep had lost her sheep...
It's only natural that she wouldn't know where to find them.
That, basically is reasonabl-l-le, but, uh!
"Leave them alone".
Now that overwhelms me!… completely overwhelms me.
The man said, she lost her sheep, turns right around and boldly states,
"She doesn't know where to find them".
And then has the stupid audacity to say, "Leave them alone"
Now, now, now!... think for a moment! Think!
If the sheep were lost, and you couldn't find them...
you'd have to leave them alone, wouldn't you?
So, "Leave them alone"... "Leave them alone".
It's in the book!
"Leave them alone and they", they being the sheep, "they will come home".
Ah yes, they'll come home.
Oh, there'll be a brighter day tomorrow... they will come home!
It's in the book.
"They will come home… a-waggin' their tails…".
Pray tell me what else could they wag?
"They will come home a-waggin' their tales… behind them."
Behind them!
Did we think they'd wag them in front of them?
Of course, they might have come home in reverse.
They could have done that, I really don't know.
But, none the less, it's in the book.
 
 
Divider
 
Back to Menu 
 
Seaside Postcards Shop Portraits  
 
Top
laugh
divider
 
Return to
' SKETCHES & STORIES '
Menu
 
divider
 
Old Favourites
More Old Favourites
The Tradition Continues
First Ladies
Celebrity Reciters
Tall Stories
The Military
Seafaring Yarns
Railway Tales
A Sporting Life
Parodies
Anonymous
Almost Shakespeare
Albert Lives On
Public Information
Visitors' Submissions

A More Serious Note
Childhood Favourites
 
divider
 
CDCD
laugh
Bottom