Up by Malpas... near the crossroads, by Chumley school, there's a big farmhouse on a raised drive... and this particular time, they wanted me to blow these tree roots up.
When I got there I said, "Where are they?"
"Er, well..." he said, "they're just down there by the main road, only about five or six yards inside the field."
I says, "Well, how many are there?"
He said, "Five."
So I says, "What do you want them out for?"
"Eeh, Lad," he said, "I can get a dozen rows of carrots in there!"

Anyway, I heard a bit of tooting going on at the back... so I says to 'im, "Are they 'unting this morning?"
He said, "I don't know, I've not seen any 'orse boxes..."
So... we get down there and I say, "Now look 'ere, I'll put the explosive under the five tree stumps... you go down to the main road and don't let anyone come past. I'll light the fuses and nip down the other side just to keep the road clear... 'cos' we don't want to scratch someone's motor with half a hundredweight of tree root... they don't like it!!!"
So he goes up the road, like... I lit the fuses and goes down the other side just as a bloke comes up in a Morris Minor.
"What's up?" he says "What's up?"
"Oh," I says... "there'll be five explosions in a minute, just on the left hand side of the road and we don't want to clobberize yer motor, y'see."
"Ooh!... I'd like t'see this..." he says and gets out of 'is car.
"Hey, look there!!!" he says... and through the back yard, and straight down the drive... came a bloody great, dog fox, it 'ad a lovely brush on it... about two foot long.
Well, it fled down the drive, out through the gate and straight through the hedge... right were me tree roots were!!!
BOOM!!!... up went the first root... well it lifted it's brush and it shot like a bat out of Hell towards bloody Nantwich... and straight across this field, after the bloody fox, came fifty two bloody 'ounds.
BOOM!!!... Well, they don't like bangs, y'know, thunder claps and things... and they went like bloody mice!!!
Of course, after the 'ounds... 'toot... toot...toot... Tally Ho'... came the bloody hunt, and they're not using 'Ferodo' tyres...
BOOM!!!... BOOM!!!... BOOM!!!... the rest of 'em went off and the last 'uns always a good'n.
I've never seen 'orses back pedal before..., nostrils flared... 'un'orsed' they call it, that do at the 'National' was nothing compared to this, you've never seen such bloody pandemonium in your life.
I thought, 'Uh uh, wait for it... and sure enough, it appeared!!!
Seventeen bloody 'ands if it was an inch!... a big iron grey it was and it's bloody nostrils... you could 'ave stuffed a pint pot up 'em!!! And the steam was coming out... I thought, 'Is it an 'orse or is it a bloody dragon?'
And on it's back sat 'The Master'. He'd 'ad 'is stirrup cup, and I think he'd 'ad some bugger elses, as well! He'd got a face like the bloody harvest moon!
I forget who it was at that time, but he spoke so bloody far back that I couldn't understand 'im! "Wort the bladdy hell do you think you're playing at?... You've ruined my day!!!... YOU'VE RUINED MY DAY!!!...
And his bloody 'ands are on the Humane killer... I thought, 'Bloody 'ell, this sod's gonna have me put down!'

Three weeks after, I went up to Normandsey, which is the other side of Chumley... over two hills and about five miles away. I'd got to blow fourteen tree roots up for 'Enry Bevin, and when I gets there he says, "Ay, look what I've got!"... and he opens up his loose-box... and there's two 'ounds in it.
He said, "Aye, they came here about three weeks ago... and they wonna go home!"
I said, "No... and you wouldn't go either, if you'd 'ad ten bags of geli up your arse!"