Though at present I've not made a deal of pelf
The reason to be candid is at present I'm short-handed
Well in point of fact I do it all myself
There's the mother's page and hints on raising poultry
Whilst the next page married women's sure to suit
Show your husband it will shame him
It's called 'man and how to tame him'
And for single girls, there's how to catch the brute.
Chorus: I run the Daily Chronic
It's a classic, it's a tonic
But up till now the trade is rather slack
For as fast as I start sending out my copies through the post
My readers tear them up and send them back.
Although I've no reporters on my paper
All the same exclusive items I can show
The way I always handle any spicey bits of scandal
Is invent the facts myself and in they go
There's a paper pattern goes with every copy
This line is meant to catch the feller's eyes
Of course you girls you know it
But to your man friends go and show it
If they guess what it is you get a prize.
(There is quite a lot of dialogue here. It turns out to be a lamp shade not a skirt)
Chorus: I run the Daily Chronic
It's a classic, it's a tonic
But up till now the trade is rather slack
For as fast as I start sending out my copies through the post
My readers tear them up and send them back.
[We don't give much away on this paper except reputations.]
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