| GERMS | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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In these days of indigestion, which it is often time to question As to what to eat and what you leave alone For each microbe and bacillus has a different way to kill us And in time they'll always claim us for their own There are germs of every kind, in any food that you can find In the market or upon the bill of fare Drinking water's just as risky as the so called deadly whiskey And it's often a mistake to breathe the air. Chorus: Some little germ is going to find you some day Some little germ will creep behind you some day Then he'll send for his germ friends And all your earthly trouble ends Some little germ is going to get you some day. Take a slice of nice fried onion and you're fit for Doctor Munnion Apple dumplings kill you quicker than a train Chew a cheery midnight rabbit and a grave you'll soon inhabit Ah, to eat at all is such a foolish game Eating plum and apple pie is quite a pleasing way to die While sour-kraut brings on softening of the brain But when you eat banana fritters, every undertaker titters The coffin maker laughs himself insane. Chorus: Some little germ is going to find you some day Some little germ will creep behind you one day Eating juicy sliced pineapple Makes the Sexton dust the chapel Some little germ is going to get you some day. All these crazy foods they mix, will float us across the river Styx Or they'll start us sliding up the milky way And the meal we eat in courses, mean a hearse and two black horses So before a meal some people always pray Luscious grapes bring appendicitis and the juice leads to gastritis So there's only death to greet us either way And fried liver's nice but mind you, friends will soon ride slow behind you And the papers then will have nice things to say. Chorus: Some little germ is going to find you some day Some little germ will creep behind you one day Eat a plate of nice hot curry Then to Golders Green you'll hurry Some little germ is going to get you some day. |
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| Performed by Alfred Lester (1872-1925) | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||