I got wed to Horatio William Brown
For he was the joy and the pride of his parents
And I was the Belle of the town
A most happy couple the sun shone upon
In the church at the top of the hill
The organ was playing - the birds were all singing
The dogs were all barking at Bill
Refrain 1: He's a dear old man! - and he's all the world to me
I buy him his clothes - and I buy him his food
And he eats it all up 'cos he knows what is good
Yes, he's mine, all mine, and he loves his Mary Ann
To the labour exchange after work he will go
And he cries like a child ev'ry time they say 'No'
For he's down on the books there for shovelling snow
He's a dear old man.
Refrain 2: He's a dear old man! - and he's all the world to me
I buy him his clothes - and I buy him his food
And he eats it all up 'cos he knows what is good
Yes, he's mine, all mine, and he loves his Mary Ann
There's a good time ahead, he's as pleased as can be
It was only last night he confided to me
He's to sell souvenirs at the next Jubilee
He's a dear old man.
He is so quick and lively, his pals call him 'Lightning'
I think it's a beautiful name
I've never known him miss a foorball match yet
Oh, he always in time for the game
And his memory's good, he can tell you what horse
Won the Derby the year before last
In our district they open at five
And I've know him to be there at five minutes past.
Refrain 1: He's a dear old man! - and he's all the world to me
Oh, he sings pretty songs as he rolls home at night
His eyes are like stars - and they twinkle so bright!
Yes, he's mine, all mine, and he loves his Mary Ann
And apart from the wonderful songs that he sings
He goes in for these muscle-developing things
He can play 'Snakes and Ladders' and Ludo' and 'Rings'
He's a dear old man.
Refrain 2: He's a dear old man! - and he's all the world to me
Oh, he sings pretty songs as he rolls home at night
His eyes are like stars - and they twinkle so bright!
Yes, he's mine, all mine, and he loves his Mary Ann
He adores exercise, all the text books he gets
He's got dumb-bells and Sandow's developing sets
Why, he's taken to rolling his own cigarettes
He's a dear old man.
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