Said the Lord Mayor to the coachman, 'Take your wages and begone.'
I want a better driver, for I'm going to see the Queen.'
Said John, 'I am the finest coachman that was ever seen.
And if you'll let me drive today, I'll show I can't be beat
For I'll drive to Buckingham Palace and I won't go through a street.'
'You must be mad,' the Lord Mayor said, 'But still I'll humour you
But remember that you lose your place the first street you go through.'
Chorus: The coachman gave the Lord Mayor,
The Lord Mayor, the Lord Mayor
The coachman gave the Lord Mayor a curious kind of treat
He drove him from the Mansion House
The Mansion House, the Mansion House
From the Mansion House to Buckingham Palace
And didn't go through a street.
The coachman jumped upon his box and settled in his seat
And started up The Poultry which we know's not called a street
Then up Cheapside he gaily went, the bobbies cleared the course
To the statue of the bobby who first organised the 'Force'
'Why you're going into Newgate Street,' the Lord mayor loudly bawls
But John said, 'Tuck your tupp'ny in, I'm going round St Pauls.'
Well, round St Pauls means Ludgate Hill and Fleet Street, John' said he
But John said, 'No, down Ludgate Hill and up the Old Bailey.'
Chorus:
Up the Old Bailey then he goes on to the Viaduct
Up Holborn and High Holborn, there was nothing to obstruct
When, 'Now you're going up Oxford Street,' the Lord mayor shouts again
But John said, 'I don't go that way, I go down Drury Lane.'
Down Drury Lane, Long Acre, and Saint Martin's Lane he drives
And thus to keep out of a street he artfully contrives
And when they reach Trafalgar Square, the Lord Mayor, in a pet
Said, 'Dash my wig and barnacles, I think he'll do it yet.'
Chorus:
John nearly drove into the Strand, then stopped as if in doubt
And the Lord mayor said, 'I'm not surprised to find that you're put out
Through Parliament Street you must go or else cross Cockspur Street
It's very hard, but still you must acknowledge your defeat.'
But John turned back and said, 'My Lord, I don't much think I shall
If you ask me I think you'll find I'm going down Pall Mall.'
Then round the Square the coachman goes and drives at racing rate
Goes through Pall Mall into the Park to Buck'n'ham Palace straight.
Chorus:
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