| MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR'S GARDIN | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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I ain't a cove wot envies uvver people wot I know But till lately I was 'appy as could be Wiv my little bit o' gardin in the neighbourhood o' Bow 'Cause it allus was a great delight to me But lately I got chummy wiv the bloke wot lives next door And 'e keeps 'is bit o' land so weary fine That nah I'm discontented 'cause me gardin looks so poor Why, 'is blessed worms are twice the size of mine. Chorus: And 'e's got the finest poultry - such a lovely breed of birds 'E goes in for 'atching bantams and they're giants, pon my word They're big as any ostrich - one's a buck and one's a doe And they fairly shales the place dahn when they boaf begin to crow. The only thing I seems to grow is pussy cats and weeds Though a lovely crop of brickbats I can get And I feel a bit dis'eartened 'cause I've sowed canary seed But there's no canaries coming up as yet But in my neighbour's gardin 'e's bin bedding out all day A mushroom up against a sunny wall And when it starts a-growing I shall 'ear the people say 'Oh isn't that the top of Albert 'all? Chorus: And 'e's got the finest pear-tree, It'll play the very deuce If a pear drops on my chivvy, I'll get drowned in the juice But the flavour must be lovely - they're a splendid eating pear Oh they're alright when yer gets 'em, but there's never any there. The only time I got a thing to sprout It was owing to them sudding April showers The missis leaves her bonnet in the gardin while she's out And we gets a bed of artificial flowers But in that next door gardin there's some catapillars found And they're just as big as bolsters, werry near Well, one climbed up 'is apple tree and nearly broke it down And 'e takes the prize for earwigs every year. Chorus: And 'e's got some new potatoes, wiv a hose all day 'e's toiled And 'e uses scaldin water, so they'll grow already boiled And 'e's' planted some sultanas, wiv some currants wrapped in dough 'E'll be pickin 'Christmas Pudding' when they once begin to grow. |
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| Performed by Gus Elen (1862-1940) | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||