This gay youth you might have seen
Tompkins and I, with his girl between
Oh what a surprise,
I praised the conservatives frank and free
Tompkins got angry so speedily
All in a moment he handed to me
Two lovely black eyes.
Chorus: Two lovely black eyes
Oh what a surprise
Only for telling a man he was wrong
Two lovely black eyes.
Next time, I argued, I though it best
To give the conservative side a rest
The merits of Gladstone I freely pressed
When Oh what a surprise
The chap I had met was a Tory true
Nothing the Liberals right could do
This was my share of that argument too
Two lovely black eyes.
Chorus:
The moral you’ve caught I can hardly doubt
Never on politics rave and shout
Leave it to others to fight it out
If you would be wise
Better far, better it is to let
Liberals and Tories alone you bet
Unless you willing and anxious to get
Two lovely black eyes.
Chorus:
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